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Broken Things Become Blessed Things

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This year has been by far the most challenging year spiritually for me. As a lot of you already know, I have suffered hearing lost for most of my life. I have whats called  degenerative hearing disease and for the most part, over the years I got along pretty well. To the point that most people wouldn't even know I had hearing loss. I didnt have hearing aids and I got to where I read lips to help me understand people when they spoke. Over the last 6-8 months I began experiencing some pretty rough issues with my ears. Some of it was just something that I have dealt with for a few years but under the care of my ENT specialist we were able to keep it under control with prescription medication. But sometime over the summer, I noticed that the meds were no longer doing their job. But another huge problem stood in my way, as my ENT that I had been under the care of for the last 8 years stopped taking my insurance. So that along with the issues with my ears became a pretty rough/stre...
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Grief

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What is Grief? Grief is the natural reaction to loss. Grief is both a universal and a personal experience. Individual experiences of grief vary and are influenced by the nature of the loss. Persons grieving  might find themselves feeling numb and removed from daily life, unable to carry on with regular duties while saddled with their sense of loss. Grief is such a taboo subject and a lot of times people dont know what to say to someone who has suffered loss, especially the loss of a child. Honestly, there are no amount of words or even the perfect words to say to someone. Don't feel like you can't be of comfort to someone because you don't know what to say. Sometimes the best thing you can do for them is just to let them know you are there for them no matter what. There are a lot of things that people do say and really they probably shouldn't. #1 Don't say "Everything happens for a reason." No it doesn't..sometimes life sucks and bad things happ...
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Still Breathing

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I debated on whether to post this but I have had this blog on my heart for over a week now so I feel like God wants to me to share it with you all. As most of you know most of the blogs I post are about my healing process and my feelings from losing our child Kaylee at 4 months. It’s been 9 years since that awful day and not a day goes by that I don’t think of her. 😊 A wife who loses a husband is called a widow. A husband who loses a wife is called a widower. A child who loses a parent is called an orphan . There is no word for a parent who loses a child. That’s how awful the loss is. Jay Neugenoren An Orphan’s Tale-1976 What is it like to lose a child you ask? Child loss is constantly walking around feeling like you only have half of a heart.  Its waking up in the middle of the night freaking out and making sure everyone is still breathing.  It’s carefully researching movies before you watch them so you don’t get triggered.  It’s hiding in th...
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Great strength comes from faith in God

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People say that I am such a strong person......I am really not strong, In fact I am the weakest person that I know. But, with God my weakness is made strong . "Great Strength comes from Faith in God..." Zechariah 12:5   When we lost Kaylee I felt so  alone. I didn't fully allow myself to grieve, I just packed it all up and moved on. I took about 2-3 weeks off of work to spend as much time with Amber as I could. I ended up quitting the current job that I had and starting a new one. I had to start fresh where no one knew me and what had happened. I felt so bad later on because they did do much for me and was so great to me about letting me have the time off that I needed but, I  just couldn't go back there  and face all  of them at my old job knowing that they felt sorry for me. My parents were my rock then, Dad and Ziegler Funeral Home took care of all of the arrangements  for the funeral. I was in such a daze I don't even remember what hap...
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