Grief

What is Grief? Grief is the natural reaction to loss. Grief is both a universal and a personal experience. Individual experiences of grief vary and are influenced by the nature of the loss. Persons grieving  might find themselves feeling numb and removed from daily life, unable to carry on with regular duties while saddled with their sense of loss.

Grief is such a taboo subject and a lot of times people dont know what to say to someone who has suffered loss, especially the loss of a child. Honestly, there are no amount of words or even the perfect words to say to someone. Don't feel like you can't be of comfort to someone because you don't know what to say. Sometimes the best thing you can do for them is just to let them know you are there for them no matter what.
There are a lot of things that people do say and really they probably shouldn't.

#1 Don't say "Everything happens for a reason." No it doesn't..sometimes life sucks and bad things happen for no reason at all.
#2 Don't say "At least you still have your other child" Really....??? Which of your children can you live without? Don't you think I'm grateful that my other child is alive and well but that doesn't make me miss my other child any less.
#3 "Well you can have more children" Omg....Seriously!? Maybe we can and maybe we cant. What if you had said that to a mother who isn't able to have any more children? Just leave the "at least" out of your conversations.
#4 "Be thankful": No just don't.......Telling someone who has lost more than you can ever imagine to be thankful, is like slapping her in the face instead of hugging her.  Seriously.  Don’t do it.  You better believe any bereaved parent in the world could school you in the art of being thankful.  There’s no need to lecture us on the topic.  We’re thankful more than thankful has ever been thanked.  We’re grateful for each precious moment we were blessed to have our child, and this gratitude for every single blessed moment is what keeps our heart beating.  And if we do have other living children you better believe we’re thankful to the nth degree for the children we still have, but that doesn’t take away the lifelong pain of living without one (or more) of our precious children.

So if you know someone that has lost a child and you are feeling stuck on what to say, just ask them about their child. Ask them about their favorite memories of them and most importantly do not ever be afraid to talk about their child they lost. Last but not least, sometimes the best thing you can do is to just listen.  :) We know that our babies/children are not ever coming back but please know that no matter how much time has passed we will never forget our child and we don't want to. Talking about them eases the pain a little and it helps us to remember the wonderful good times and memories God blessed us with, when they were still here. They still existed and we still want that to be acknowledged

"My child died, I don't need advice. All I need is for you to gently close your mouth, open wide your heart and walk with me until I can see in color again." Angela Miller